helblonde: (Daughter of Hel)
[personal profile] helblonde
I have awarded myself an internetz today! I posted a comment on FB and got an "I feel sorry for you if that's the first thing you thought", which is the internet argument equivalent of "Shut Up" and " Damn it! I don't want you to be right, but I can't admit it." And let me tell you, I do feel simply terrible for using all this analytical thinking on internet messages.

The reason I got that comment was an objection of mine to the "Two dads is better than no dads" image that's going around. *gasp* Has [livejournal.com profile] helblonde lost her socially liberal credentials? Who could object to two dads? Well, I can. Rather, I object to the message as written.

I think that gay parents adopting children is a great idea. Every kid deserves a chance to have parents who loves him.

But "two dads" specifically says that they're *better than* families with no dads at all. Families with two lesbian moms or single mothers, for instance. And there is where my objection lies. (It's also the comment that earned me the "I feel sorry for you".) I think that we can frame our support messages in a way that doesn't denigrate any other family make-ups. I mean, hurrah for two dads, but not two moms? Really? How does that advance the cause of getting equal adoption rights to all homosexual couples?

How about celebrating all families? Hurrah Mom and Mom! Hurrah Dad and Dad! Hurrah Mom and Dad! Hurrah single moms and single dads! Hurrah grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends who take in kids and give them safety, stability, and love!

A funny little addendum to this was seeing another friend post the "two dads" message to his wall and seeing yet another person post my exact same objection.

Date: 2012-09-16 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] klwilliams.livejournal.com
Yup. You won.

Date: 2012-09-16 02:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evil-macaroni.livejournal.com
Seems like a reasonable objection. Some people just don't think!

Date: 2012-09-16 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joycebre.livejournal.com
huh, I looked at it, and thought yeah, 2 dads is good. Didn't occur to me to think past it. So yeah, you've earned that Internetz. And caring parent(s)/family is better than any number of other bad parent combinations.

Date: 2012-09-16 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hrj.livejournal.com
The poster created an ambiguous message in the conflict between the verbal and visual implications. The verbal element, as you note, creates a patrocentric world in which the women in a child's life don't count in the proposed evaluation. But the visual element frames the comparison as "2 dads vs. no parents" (which presumably was the creator's intended framing). I suspect that a viewer's reaction is going to vary depending on whether their brain processes the visual or verbal as the defining framing.

However, even assuming a neutral intent on the part of the creator, there's still the problem that they were oblivious to the way the verbal element excluded the possibility of female parents of any configuration.

(I love deconstructing internet memes. Somewhere I have an extended essay written in response to a friend asking "why do people think this kitten-rescuing meme is racist?")

Date: 2012-09-16 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] razor-dancer.livejournal.com
I had the same response but wasn't energetic enough to contest it. Huzzah for you!


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